Tuesday, February 16, 2010

New basement, or new abyss?

My family and I moved in to a new home about 7 years ago, right in the beginning of a nice, peaceful neighborhood. Our basement wasn't finished until nearly 5 years ago, and until then, I have slept peacefully upstairs. We acquired new carpet, new TV, new furniture, new storage, and a new room with a new bathroom. I've always been way too warm in my room upstairs, and considering it was right next to my parents room, I always had to be quiet and be careful as to not to wake them. As one would imagine, when I discovered we were making a room down in the basement, I was positively thrilled.

Now i've moved down there, loving the nice cool temperature, my own bathroom, and the ability to make noise without having to worry about it. Things seemed to go well for the first few months, and I began to love it down there. However, this feeling of "love" didn't last as long as one would hope. It began to feel eerie in there, empty, and colder. The coldness, it seemed, wouldn't go away, even when the fireplace was turned on for hours. But, like any boy my age, I ignored it, believing I'm just imagining it and that I should be happy I have the basement to myself nowadays.

That feeling of emptiness, however, didn't last. I started to feel a presence. I started to get that feeling when you know someone is just staring at you, but I knew for a fact that there was nobody down there. Pretty soon, my dogs wouldn't even stay down there with me. I began to get angry, realizing that whatever is causing this is ruining my basement experiences. However, I had no idea how to react or what to do to get rid of the feeling and the cold. It began to seem hopeless, and I began to feel content. I thought, "well as long as I'm not being hurt and it's not stopping me from watching tv, playing xbox, and sleeping, I don't really care."

Staying home on a Saturday night isn't really my thing, even at that age, but this night seemed to tell me that I should stay home and relax. My parents were out of the state, working and traveling, and I was left to take care of the dogs. This is fine to me, since I like my solitude every now and then. It was late, and my dogs were already asleep in their room. I decided to stay up watching late night shows until around 1 in the morning. The coldness and feeling of being watched crept upon me again, but like the in the past, I chose to ignore it. Deciding it was time for bed, I shut off the tv, the lights, and head for my room. Shutting the door behind me, I strip off my clothes and make my way to the bathroom to wash up before i head to bed. I turn off the lights, jump into my bed, put on the covers and lie down.

I turn over, and I notice my door was open. I think to myself, "I could have sworn I shut the door," and I knew I did, considering I always shut the door after I enter my room. Remembering that nobody is in the house and therefore nobody will bother me, I decide not to care and remain in my bed and try to sleep. However, even though my eyes were closed, I felt a shadow hover over my face. It was the same feeling of a light going off while you have your eyes closed, you can still notice the shade of darkness getting darker. This alerted me, because now I believed that someone was in the house with me. I burst up, race out of my bed and search my house. After I find nothing, I convince myself that I'm just being stupid and need to sleep. I go back to my room, make sure I shut my door, and attempt to get some sleep. No more than a minute after I lay down, I start to feel that shadow pass over me again. But this time, it's not only the shadow I can feel. I start feeling compressions on my chest, squeezing my lungs. I immediately rise and see my door is wide open again. I see a shape, darker than the blackness around me. I am unable to discern the bottom half of it, but I can distinctly see it had a torso and a head. It had no facial features, only darkness. All of a sudden, my body becomes compelled to lay back down, and I am unable to fight it. Complete darkness encases me, and even though my eyes are open, I see nothing. I can only feel that pressure, which has now moved away from my chest and up to my neck. I can't breathe, and some force has me pinned to my bed, unable to get up and fight back. I struggle and struggle, and finally i discover some hope as I am able to shake. For what seemed like an eternity I was pinned down, suffocating, until finally I broke free. I bolted up, freezing, and quickly jumped out of my bed and looked around. I saw nothing, no indication that anything was in my room besides the fact that my door was wide open. I recheck my house, realizing that nothing is there besides my dogs, retreat back to my bed, praying to God that it was all some kind of messed up dream.

In Golding's novel, Lord of the Flies, the little ones constantly talk about seeing ghosts and beasts in the forest during meetings. The bigger kids reply with statements that they were just dreaming and their imagination is taking over. However, the little ones keep repeating that they saw "it" and firmly believe that it was not a dream. For a while I tried to deny what happened that night was a dream, and that I was just tired and hallucinating because of it. But after living in that house for 5 more years, staying in that basement, the events keep happening, and now it has moved past being just a dream to something that is real and affects me. I would like to believe that what has been happening to me is all in my head, but even if it is, it still affects me the same way whether I believe it or don't.